Buzzkill

Today I had a parenting “first”.  After everyone played here {of course}, setting up a small city in our garage, doing perler beads under the pine trees, and eating popsicles, I was asked if new supplies could be brought outside for Fifi, the new Minnie dog who lives with us now.  Since I was simultaneously packing and cleaning the house, I said NO.  Besides, we didn’t have long to play since 3:00 was looking us in the eye.  Oh, did I mention Emmeline did not nap.  All besides the point, really.  After kicking out asking the neighborhood to leave nicely, we picked up the last of the playthings.  Lily pulled me aside and told me that after I refused the Fifi toys, both Landon and Olivia said I was a buzzkill.

Hmm.  I went about what I was doing and said something along the lines of, “Well, that’s okay.  Its not nice but they can say that if they want but it is my house and my rules.”

But something wasn’t sitting right with Lily.  I took a moment to look at her.  She was upset.  I kneeled down and asked, “Are you upset?  Are you upset they called me a buzzkill?”  She shook her head yes and then she broke down.  I just hugged her.  Inside I was fighting about what to say.  You can imagine what the snarky grownup wanted to say (to those kids) but the momma part needed to say something for Lily to understand.  I chose to tell her that it is okay if people say something like that, it is only their opinion and it really didn’t hurt me.  I could understand why little kids would say that.  Her friends didn’t mean it but wanted to get the toys.  I explained that she feels mad or upset when things don’t go her way, too.  I hugged her tight and told her that I was okay and I was thankful for such a daughter who would be such an ally to her mom.

It may have been the first time I’m called a name while parenting, but it will not be the last, I’m certain.

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