That girl has been on my mind.  There are these glimpses I get of her, things that remind me so powerfully.  It is heartbreaking to me.  When I remember her I try so hard to think of her when she was healthy and I was able to be the dog owner I wished to be.  I regret how awfully angry I would get at her.  Becoming a mom was so life changing and I wish I could have known how to juggle it all.  I just couldn’t.  How it all ended will be a deep regret of mine for a long, long time.  I get that she was old and becoming unable to function.  I want to be a kind person not one that rages over another mess to clean up.  She was a good dog.  I was a poor owner, at least in the end.

We are unpacking and settling in. I’d just like to send a shout out to 3 little troopers who were so well behaved yesterday on our flights!  They’ve got the routine down. Everyone slept until 9 (or later)…I don’t think I’ve done that since Lily was born. It was awesome…so another thank you, kiddos!!

yikes!  With the time difference, I almost missed my daily post. Whew!  Just in under the wire!!

We touched down in California; 1999(?) was the first time I visited.  I recall the golden hillside glimpsed as the crowd made its way to baggage claim. I felt the new possibility of adventure and noticed the energy.  It seems so foreign now but there was a distinct difference between SFO and PHL–cell phones.  Everyone was talking on one here.  So many people, in fact, that I wondered who in the world they were all talking to and didn’t appreciate the noise of it all.  Why weren’t these people engaged and looking around?  Did they not notice what surrounded them?

Fast forward to California, 2015.  Completely different world, right?  Except now, I notice it’s me, and all the people around me.  I peeked in the living room on Saturday when we got together for Easter festivities and every single person was looking at a device.  This is not an indictment.  It’s not even a judgement.  It just made me sad.  Because I am so guilty of taking a peek (or longer) at a screen so many times a day.  And I know there is nothing on it that ever needs my immediate attention.  Who needs that from me is usually standing in front of me, begging for it.  But I am not a martyr.  Sometimes we need escape or we need a break or we need to attend to something pressing.  I can say, without a doubt, for me, that 95% of the time, whatever is on the screen is none of those things.  

I’m going to give my phone a little break and find a time during they day I can look at it on purpose, not just because it is a distraction addiction.

Last trip to playgrounds

Last swim

Last FaceTime with Dada

Last day of outside stuff (it may rain tomorrow!)

Last day of making all our own meals

Tomorrow we will play and pack and get to bed to get ready to fly home on Wednesday.

We have had a great time but we are all anxious to get back home!

see you back here tomorrow!

I didn’t get Em’s first delighted laugh as the water rushed toward her but the videos capture their play…

Today we beached it.  I can’t load photos right now.  I will do it tomorrow.

Also, I figured Ollie out.  If you pretend he can’t do something, he is more likely to do it himself.  He is good at getting other people to do things for him–like dress him or get him in his carseat or clean up all his toys (ask me how I know!).  But this trick has been working lately.  Tell him he can’t and he will.  I’ll be doing it with drop off at preschool when we return home; no more walking him inside!