{bitter}Sweetness

So there I was, comfy and cuddled in bed already at 9:15 and Little Roundy comes calling. Now he was improving on the sleep pattern and getting up closer to midnight so I was not anxious to go to him and encourage early waking…but then I thought maybe a bink was out of reach or he just needed some soothing. I’m so glad I went to him! Ollie was an unhappy boy; he needed a new diaper and a little more to eat ;)but he did something so unexpected that I just need to write it down immediately.

This whole parenting business-such sweetness, such hard work, such non-stopped-ness. And right in the middle of breaking down or giving that time-out or wiping up the latest spill, Lily and Ollie flash a smile or begin giggling or say something outlandish that makes everything stand still. And you say a prayer that you got to take part in their little bit of magic.

And so my bittersweet moment with Ollie that makes me want to freeze time: He finished eating and he rutched his way up so his arm was slung around my neck, he nuzzled in under my chin and took a nice cuddly snooze. It was so unexpected that I just rocked him and felt his belly breathing, his tiny sleep movements. And I thought about how he is growing so fast-how Lily is going to eat lunch at school this year and how I don’t want to power through my days without really seeing my kids. I don’t want to waste the time I have to hold them while they sleep or give them baths or fill them up with everything I know…

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